


The Sadomasochistic Nature of  "Love" as Demonstrated by the American Teenage Werewolf (Pulling At Heartstrings)

by Molespeople



Series: Egg In Your Milky Way [5]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Love at First Sight, M/M, Roller Derby, University, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-19
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2018-01-09 07:54:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1143462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Molespeople/pseuds/Molespeople
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angus Hale is 19 and living with the Fukumoto Pack as he studies at the University of Washington.  His sister, Merida, is 16 and poised to become an Olympic athlete. </p>
<p>Everything changes one weekend in November when Angus returns home for a visit. Three words: Rad Luis Garretson.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prelude

**Author's Note:**

> All my OCs are grown up ;_; This chapter is basically ALL OCs which I can really see how that might be a turnoff, but yeah it happens.
> 
> Anyway. This fic will probably make the most sense if you read the chapter "Whips and Chaney" in Once There Was a Hushpuppy - Outtakes.
> 
> Ages: Angus is 19. Triplets (Merida, Hamish, and Fergus) are 16 and Elinor is 12. 
> 
> Also fair warning. I really don't know anything about roller derby, but I did some Googling. From what I understand Merida being 16 and playing in the league might be a little strange (some leagues are 18+. 21+, etc), but she's been playing in a junior league for a long time and it's also 2035 so who knows what happens :)

_... I could major in studying the secrets of the universe - a jumble of geometric figures and equations - tattooed on his warm skin._

"Welcome back to the WFTDA 2035 Championships. It's been an exciting bout between the Redding Rider Grrls and the PotoMax Derby. It's 156 to 120.I'm Bill Cooper. So what do you say, Lisa? Exciting stuff?" 

"Definitely, Bill. This has been a great bout and remember the team that wins this - is going to represent the United States in the 2036 Summer Olympics in Atlanta." 

"How could I forget! Now Lisa - MentaLis - Maravich, you would be the expert on Olympic play with those gold medals in '24 and '28 and the bronze in '32, which team do you think is most likely to clinch the gold for the US?" 

"Well Bill, first we don't talk about the '32 Olympics, but my money would be on the Redding Rider Grrls. Yes, they're one of the youngest teams in the league, but they've got perfect pack dynamics, great strategies, and some primo coaching in the form of Rad Luis Garretson and his mother, fellow '24 gold medalist, Maria Aguilar-Garretson. PotoMax Derby has some great, experienced players but the injuries have really been piling up this season --" 

"Oooooh and PotoMax's jammer, Kooky Monster, goes down _hard_. Taken down by Whips and Chaney."

" I can guarantee that's going to hurt in the morning, Bill. Merida Hale is a force to be reckoned with." 

"And now we're seeing an assist from Whips and Chaney as she gives No Pride in Prejudice a boost in speed."

"Merida Hale and Mallorie Bennett make a great team - that's a classic M&M move."

A door slams open and a young man in a black suit hurries in. His face is flushed and his shock of black hair is in complete disarray. "What's the score?" He asks, his unibrow wrinkled in consternation. 

The plump girl sitting on the couch, pauses, a handful of popcorn raised to her lips. "156-120."

The man rushes to sit down in front of the TV. "We're winning?" 

The girl nods, rolling her eyes. "Yes, Angus, your sister's team is winning...and you can't sit there, that's Uncle's seat - he went to the bathroom." 

Angus looks around the neat living room. "Where is everybody?"

The girl chews on the popcorn. "Mom went to get more drinks. Grandma's playing Hanafuda with Obasan, she said it makes her too nervous to watch with all the violence."

A toilet flushes and a rakish middle-aged man emerges from around the corner. "Makes her nervous, my ass. Obasan doesn't want to watch because she's got $3,000 riding on the game and she knows she's going to lose and have to pay up. You would think at 103, she'd know not to take a sucker's best." He enthusiastically ruffles the girl's wavy, carefully styled, dark hair on the way to his seat. "And I was sitting there, Angus." 

Angus slides further down the couch. The girl tsks, smoothing her hair back into its usual bob appearance. "I hope you washed your hands," she mutters underneath her breath. 

The man throws his head back and laughs. "You wish!" 

A svelte middle-aged woman stalks into the room and slaps the man on the back of the head. "You're an idiot, Ben." 

The man rubs his head. "What the hell, Naomi." 

"You can tell Auntie that the bet is off." 

"Why would I do that? My team is winning!"

The girl on the couch pipes up. "Actually, the Riders scored a couple of times when you were in the bathroom." 

"Well shit." 

Naomi nods. "Exactly. I'm not real keen on lending you $3,000."

Ben rubs his head. He has a disappointed look on his face. "But I was convinced it was a sure thing...I was going to take Terrence on vacation." 

Naomi snorts. "I think if you showed up with $3,000, Terrence would have thought you sold one of your organs and gotten a bad deal." 

The girl continues the line of thought. "And then he would have started to inspect him for incisions."

Ben shakes his head, face bright red. "That only happened the one time."

Naomi and the girl burst into laughter. The girl falls off the couch and starts rolling around on the floor, laughing uncontrollably.

Ben stomps away. "I _do_ actually sell paintings occasionally."

Angus shoots a desperate look towards the females howling with laughter. "Hey. C'mon I'm trying to watch the bout." 

Naomi instantly sobers and walks around to help the girl off the floor. "Upsy-daisy, Hypatia."

Hypatia brushes her hair back into place and starts patting around at the couch cushions, extracting a cell phone from a couch crevice. 

Naomi darts back into the kitchen, retrieving a tray of drinks. "How was the concert, Angus?" 

Angus bobs his head, distracted. "It was fine. It was hard to get away after though."

"Swarmed by hot, available women?" 

Angus shoots Naomi a pained look. "Uh. I guess." 

Hypatia shakes her head. 

Angus looks at Hypatia suspiciously. "What?" 

Hypatia's head shoots up, her face the picture of wide-eyed innocence. "Me?" She looks around quickly before gesturing to her phone. "Just...reading Fergus' texts."

Angus looks skeptical. "Uh-huh. And how is Fergus?" 

"Oh, my boyfriend is definitely having a nervous breakdown in a parking lot. Like he's supposed to be taking Burp 'for a walk' but that's not what's happening. See?" 

Angus peers at the proffered cell, reading aloud. _"But what if she loses, I have to live with her and it's going to be hell!"_ Angus nods sagely. "That sounds about right."

Naomi takes a sip of her drink. "Well it doesn't look like your brother has anything to worry about." 

Hypatia and Angus look at Naomi. "What?" 

Naomi points towards the screen.

"AND THE REDDING RIDER GRRLS ARE GOING TO THE OLYMPICS! If you missed that, folks, I truly pity you. Some fantastic skating out of the Redding Riders." 

Angus jumps up, shouting. "We won?" 

Hypatia jumps up. "WE WON!" 

Angus and Hypatia start jumping up and down, shouting triumphantly.

Angus pauses in his celebration and digs his cell phone out of his pocket. "Dad? I saw! Well I missed the last couple of minutes but...anyway. Give Merida a big hug for me!" Angus nods along as he listens. "A party next weekend? Let me ask, one sec." 

"Hey Dr. Fukumoto? My parents are hosting a party for the team next weekend. Would it be okay if Hypatia and I drove down?" 

Hypatia turns to her mother, hanging on every word. 

Naomi takes a sip of her drink and rubs her chin. "Don't you have a history project due the following Monday?" 

"Oh Mom, please! I'll get it done before Friday, I promise." 

"It's conditional upon that...and that there's no funny business with Fergus." 

Hypatia's face turns bright red. "Mom!" 

"Them's the rules, kid." 

"Oh my god, you're so embarrassing. Fine!"

Naomi nods towards Angus. "That's fine."

"Yeah, Dad, Hypatia and I will be there. Okay great! Give Merida a hug for me and tell her I'll call her later. Okay, love you too. Bye."

Ben walks back into the room. "Okay so there's bad news and good news. Bad news, Obasan wasn't willing to call the bet off. Good news, I got her down to $300."

"Well that's more manageable."

Ben sits down and grabs a drink off the tray. "Yeah, totally. So hey, Naomi...could I borrow $300?"

Naomi takes a sip of her drink and shakes her head. "You're such an idiot."


	2. Party Prep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day before the party. There are things that need to be done.

Stiles staggers into the kitchen, the upper half of his body obscured by grocery bags. The groceries are haphazardly placed on the counter, packages of meat and nuts spilling out of the bag. "I bring protein. All the protein." He mutters to the empty room. 

Stiles walks back to the front door. Before he can close it, a small dog enthusiastically greets him. Stiles pats the dog's head. "Hi Burp. Yes, yes, hi." Stiles winces as the dog keeps pawing at his leg. "Burp, down. Down." Burp keeps digging at his leg. Stiles groans and rolls his eyes. "Fine, you baby." Stiles bends over and lifts the dog, settling him into the crook of his arm. Burp tilts his head up and begins to lick fervently at the skin underneath Stiles' chin. Stiles leans his head back and looks the little fluffy dog in its eyes. "Really? I'm married...and you didn't even buy me dinner first." Stiles looks up and sees Derek in the distance, carrying baskets full of produce. 

"STOP FLIRTING WITH THE DOG, STILES. IT'S WEIRD."

"Ha. Ha. Ha. You're just jealous that he loves me more." 

Burp starts to thrash in Stiles' arms. Stiles quickly places him on the ground and Burp takes off like a shot towards Derek.

"That doesn't count, Derek! You can't use your wolf-y powers." 

Derek keeps walking towards Stiles, Burp dancing around him. "Strange, that's not what you said last night."

Stiles splutters, " I needed help opening a jar! You're making it sound so suggestive." 

Derek stops in front of Stiles. "We all know what kind of jar it was." 

Derek gives Stiles a sultry look before pressing against him. The baskets laden with produce gently swaying against Stiles' thighs. Derek nuzzles at Stiles’ cheek and whispers, punctuating with kisses. "It. Was. A. Jar. Of. Tomato. Sauce." Stiles catches Derek's mouth on the last kiss. 

Eventually, Stiles slowly pulls away and clears his throat. "Okay, wow. Not gonna lie, it's a little unnerving how excited that made me." Stiles rubs the back of his neck, looking down. "Uh, what were we supposed to be doing..."

Derek smirks at Stiles before shaking the baskets. 

Stiles nods. "Yes. We were gathering ingredients for the party. Were you able to get the Brussels sprouts?"

Derek grimaces. "Not before the aphids. But I got everything else on the list." 

"Well that's going to have to be good enough." Stiles pulls out his cell phone. "Crap, I've got to go pick up the kids." Stiles gives Derek a quick peck on the cheek. "We'll continue all that later," he says, gesturing to Derek's person. 

Derek puts the baskets on the ground, before scooping up Burp before he can follow Stiles. "I'll hold you to that."  
\---------------

Merida stalks through the front door, kicking it shut before dropping her book bag behind the couch. Derek turns around at the noise. "How was school, Meri?" 

Merida shrugs, answering in a succinct monotone. "It was fine. Glad it's Friday. I'm going to my room now."

Derek nods. "Nice talking to you."  
Burp perks up from where he's sitting on Derek's lap. Burp stretches slowly before staring into the distance. Burp suddenly leaps to the floor and positions himself directly in front of the door, staring intently at the corner. The door opens slightly and Burp starts pawing at it, working his paw into the burgeoning crack. Fergus' voice floats through the crack "You need to step back, Burp." Burp bows down right next to the door, butt waving in the air. "Come on, back it up. Beep beep beep." The door slowly opens, Burp warily moves out of the way. Fergus makes it through the doorway and Burp starts racing around his feet. 

Stiles walks through the door with a slightly worried look on his face. Their youngest daughter trudges through the door after him. "You've been really quiet, Elinor. Is everything okay?" 

Elinor nods, but her usually bouncy curls seem deflated. Stiles pulls her close, rubbing her shoulder. "Okay, cheer up, kiddo. We're having Gobłąki for dinner. Yay!"

Elinor shakes her head suddenly before breaking away. "I don't feel well, I'm going to go lie down." She darts up the stairs before another word can be spoken. 

Stiles looks to both Derek and Fergus, a quizzical look on his face. Fergus shrugs and goes back to playing with Burp. Derek's brow furrows and he gives Stiles an assenting nod.

\----------

Elinor scurries through her bedroom door before collapsing on her bed. 

Merida swings around in her chair, turning away from her movie. "Hi-de-ho, small fry." Elinor remains motionless on her bed. Merida rolls her eyes and presses pauses on her TV, rolling over to Elinor's side of the room. Merida pauses, watching her little sister and her lack of response. "Yo kiddo." Merida sighs and rolls closer. Merida lightly raps Elinor on the head. "Knock knock." When even that fails to draw a giggle out of her little sister, Merida headdesks the bed. "Are you dead or are you going to make me talk about emotions?" she mumbles into the duvet. "Because if you're going to make me talk about emotions, I'd rather just call the morgue." Elinor snorts.  
\-------

Stiles wraps a cabbage leaf around a meat mixture, handing it off to Derek who places it in a casserole dish. Periodically they give each other long looks, exchanging nods. Stiles gives Derek the last cabbage roll. "Well, I'm glad we agree."

"Wow. It's like you just had a conversation using your minds."

Stiles and Derek turn in sync towards Fergus. Fergus recoils. "Okay, that's...a little creepy. I'm going to go upstairs now." Fergus retreats up the stairs. Burp moves to follow him, but looks back at Derek and decides to curl up in his dog bed.

Stiles gives Derek a puzzled look. "Is our presence that repulsive?"

Derek shakes his head. "This is normal teen behavior...I think."

Stiles holds his hand up. "Potentially normal teen behavior. Go us!" Derek gives Stiles a silly grin before slapping his hand. Stiles pulls Derek close, pecking him on the cheek. "And now we should probably wash our hands because I was handling raw meat."

Stiles walks over to the sink and starts washing his hands. Derek nestles behind him, adding his hands to the stream of water. 

Stiles nods. "So we just need to put the Gobłąki in the oven...and try to figure out where we're going to put all the produce, because our fridge is full of meat."

Derek nods. "How did this party get so complicated? I thought we were going to just have a barbecue - keep it simple." 

Stiles nods. "Well that was the plan...but then _somebody_ said Hamish should cater it. And then if I recall correctly Hamish started muttering about building his résumé and then we got this."

Derek abruptly turns around and grabs an eggplant. "When _is_ Hamish coming home?" 

"Smooth segue there. Yeah, Hamish is working until 7:00."

Derek nods thoughtfully. "Well that's good. I'm just going to wait for him on the couch." 

Stiles side-eyes Derek."Yeah, you do that."

Derek retreats to the couch. As soon as he sits down, Burp rises from his dog bed, jumps into Derek's lap, and promptly falls asleep. Derek shakes his head. "Seriously? Every time I sit down..."

\-----------

Merida throws her head back and laughs. "No, seriously, is that it?" 

Elinor nods her head, tears in her eyes, her fist pressed against her mouth. "They're going to hate me, aren't they?" 

"Kiddo, Uncle Peter's killed people and yet we still invite him to Thanksgiving - I think you're good. If that's it, I'm going to go back to fantasizing."

Elinor wipes her nose on her sleeve and grabs her pillow. "Oh Rad. You're smoking hot," she says before smashing her face into her pillow, making kissing noises. 

"You little punk. Is that supposed to be an impression of me? There definitely wouldn't be that much snot." Elinor keeps pressing her face into the pillow, making odd grunts. Merida grabs her pillow off her bed and brings it down on Elinor's back. 

"Hey, you hit me!" 

"What gave you that impression?" Elinor growls, primes her pillow, and launches herself at Merida. Merida shrieks. "DON'T HIT ME WITH THAT. IT'S COVERED IN SNOT!" 

Elinor and Merida start enthusiastically swinging pillows at each other. Shrieks and growls fill the room. 

\--------------

Derek looks up towards the ceiling and shakes his head. "GIRLS! CUT IT OUT." 

The only response is a particularly high-pitched screech. 

Derek gives Stiles a dark look. "I don't like how Merida looks at that coach of hers."

"She's 16, she's allowed to have a crush." 

"He's too old for her." 

Stiles scoffs. "Okay, Pot." Stiles pauses, giving Derek an appraising look. "Wait a minute, is that the reason you wanted to host the party?" 

Derek turns his attention to Burp, stroking his fur. 

Elinor hesitantly walks down the stairs. “Dad, Al-pa, I have something I want to tell you." 

Derek nods encouragingly. "Go ahead, Elinor."

Elinor looks to Stiles and Derek. "I'm --."

The front door opens and Hamish walks in, smelling faintly of fried chicken. "Did you get the ingredients I needed?" 

Stiles turns towards Hamish. "Hello Hamish. How was your day? Elinor was just about to say something...so just hold that thought." 

Hamish rolls his eyes. "Do you know how much prep I need to do? But by all means continue, Elinor." 

Derek gives Hamish a stern look. "Attitude, Hamish." 

"Sorry," Hamish mumbles, distracted by the produce on the kitchen counter. 

Elinor steels herself and looks at her parents. "I'm... I'm...I'M A VEGETARIAN." 

Hamish snorts from his corner of the kitchen. Derek and Stiles exchange looks. Stiles gets up from the couch. "Well, I guess I should boil some pasta."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little rushed at the end there, not going to lie. 
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	3. Swamped and Such

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day of the party. Hypatia and Angus head to Beacon Hills. At the Hale household, Hamish is trying to make this catering thing work.

Angus throws a duffle bag into the back of his Jeep and checks his cell phone. He shakes his head and stalks back into the house. "Hypatia," he stage-whispers. He looks around, annoyed when he spots Hypatia lying facedown on the couch. "Hypatia! We needed to leave 15 minutes ago." Hypatia mumbles a response. Angus rolls his eyes and walks over to the couch. "Rise and shine, Hypatia. We've got places to be." Angus sighs and picks up Hypatia's limp arm, wobbling it about. 

Hypatia pulls her arm out of Angus' grasp. "It's still dark out, you monster," she groans.

"Well, we've got a nine hour drive. So unless you want it to be dark when we get there, we need to leave now. 

Hypatia grimaces sleepily, contemplating the prospect, before snuggling into the back of the couch. "Five more minutes." 

Naomi waltzes in from the kitchen. She pauses in the doorway, sipping her coffee. Angus gives her a pleading look. "Can I get a little help here?" 

Naomi tilts her head, considering the prospect before shaking her head. "Nah. I want to see how this plays out."

Angus examines his outfit, weighing the risk to his attire. He sighs and uses a fireman's lift, placing Hypatia across his shoulders. " I swear, Hypatia, you so much as drool, I'm dropping you."

Naomi gives Angus a little wave. "Have fun!"

\------

Hamish scribbles in the margins of a battered notebook. "Okay the pot de crème is chilling. Now I just need to make the pie dough and pizza dough. How's the veg prep going?"

Derek turns around, a mushroom in his hand. "Are you talking to me?"

"Well, you're my sous." Hamish says casually, reaching for the sack of flour.

Derek stares at Hamish as he starts to measure out cups of flour. He shakes his head in disbelief. "Last time I checked, I was your father, so you should be _my_ sous." 

Hamish pauses mid scoop. "Please, I have more experience and I work in a professional kitchen." 

Derek shakes his head. "I have experience...and you're giving The Cluck Hut too much credit." 

Hamish rolls his eyes and rests the measuring cup on the counter. "No, you have a food blog about cheese - you have experience typing and photographing food." 

"Don't belittle my cheese blog."

"Well don't -"

Stiles walks past the kitchen carrying a box. A string of lights trails behind him. He pauses and watches the argument escalate before interrupting. "And how are my gastronomical gurus doing?"

Hamish and Derek stop fighting and glare at Stiles until he walks away, shaking his head, dragging the lights behind him. Hamish picks up the measuring cup and forcefully scoops the flour. "Keep prepping the vegetables." 

"Yes, chef."

\-----------  
Hypatia stares miserably out the vibrating window. She suddenly slams back against her seat. "Angus, I swear to all that is good and holy, if you don't change this music, I will claw my face off. Then you can explain to your brother why his girlfriend is horribly disfigured because of your woop-hop." 

Angus shakes his head. "That's not even a thing."

Hypatia rolls her eyes and gestures wildly with her hangs. "This 'music' sounds like a computer is having a seizure, or it's been possessed by the devil, or it's infested with termites. OR -" 

Angus sighs and switches out the disc; classical musical fills the interior of the Jeep. Hypatia pulls out a sketchbook and begins to draw the scenery. Periodically, she taps her pencil against the pad of paper, glaring at the music player. Angus gives her a long look every time she fidgets. Two hours later, Hypatia breaks the silence. "No, I'm sorry, how old are you? 80?" Angus' grip tightens on the steering wheel. "Did you inherit your dad's non-verbal tendencies? Like none of your music has any words. " 

Angus rolls his eyes. Hypatia turns in her seat. "I'm serious Angus. I feel like I'm shopping at a ritzy grocery store where they sell like 400 cheeses and you can't buy a normal bag of potato chips, they're like lavender-scented."

Angus changes lane to pass a slow driver before responding to Hypatia's comments in a calm but slightly cold tone. "First, I’m sorry you didn't think to bring your own music player. Secondly, if you think your pastel puke pop music is any better - Ha. Thirdly and most importantly, this is Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Show some respect." 

Hypatia looks out the window, her jaw tight. "Sorry."

Angus sighs. "On a slightly worrisome side note, lavender-scented potato chips sound really good right now. So I think stopping to get something to eat is in order? "

Angus quickly glances at Hypatia and in his rearview mirror before turning off the Interstate. " Maybe we can get some music after we eat." 

Hypatia pumps her arm,  
smiling. "Yessssss."

\--------------

Hamish pulls on a plastic glove and starts dressing the kale chiffonade with a citrus vinaigrette. With his other hand, he extracts a tray of almonds from the oven, shaking them brusquely. He slides the tray of almonds on the counter, careful not to jostle anything important. He gives the dressed greens a final toss and pulls the glove off of his hand. He quickly disposes of the plastic glove, crossing two items off of his list. He surveys the chaotic kitchen. Derek is rolling meatballs. Hamish surges forward and starts spooning a shrimp mixture into the prepped mushrooms. "Okay, so the meatballs and shrimp stuffed mushrooms are going to cook at the same temperature. I've already started the grill, just waiting for those coals to come up to temp. Then I need to grill the eggplant, grill the sausage, and I think the fig prosciutto pizza will have to be grilled too because..." 

Derek looks up from where he's rolling the meatballs. "Do you need help, Hamish?" 

Hamish shakes his head as he arranges the mushrooms on a sheet tray. "I can manage...I just need to go upstairs and get the shot glasses for the soup". He pauses and squints at the clock. "Wait does that say 4:00?" 

"Yes."

Hamish curses and struggles to put on another set of plastic gloves. "Well, I'm about 30 minutes behind, but..." 

"ALL HANDS ON DECK!" 

Hamish cringes. "Oh my god, that was right in my ear." 

Fergus and Elinor charge down the stairs. "What do you need, Dad?" 

Derek gestures his head towards Hamish. Hamish glances around the kitchen and removes his gloves. "Okay, Elinor, I'm going to show you how to assemble the endive dish. Fergus, I need all those boxes on my half of the room, don't try to carry them all at once or get Merida to help you because the contents are fragile." Fergus nods and runs back up the stairs. 

Hamish opens the fridge and extracts a bowl. "Okay, Elinor, this is the goat cheese mixture for the endives. He grabs an endive leaf and nestles a spoonful in its hollow. "So you just want to put about that much in each leaf and then garnish it with some of these candied walnuts over here. We'll add the balsamic vinegar drizzle just before the party." He shows her the finished product. "So just like this. Do you think you can manage that?"

Elinor nods. "Seems easy enough." 

Hamish claps his hands. "Great! Because you need to make about 100". 

Elinor groans. "100! Why do we need to make that much?" 

Hamish gives her a sour look. "Well we need appetizers for the vegetarians to eat. So..." 

Elinor inspects the endive leaf. "Can I at least eat this one?"

Hamish moves over to the stove and gives the soup a quick stir, tastes the product, and adjusts the seasoning. "There's no time for eating right now." But by the time he looks up, half of the endive spear is in her mouth. Elinor grins goofily around it and gives him a thumbs up.  
\--------------

Hypatia bounces in her seat, moving to the beat of the music. She swings her arms around, cuing Angus. 

Angus bobs his head to the beat. "There lived a certain man in Russia -"

Hypatia frowns. "Why did you stop?" 

Angus glares at the speedometer. "Because my foot is on the gas, but the car is slowing down." 

Hypatia bites her lip. "That's not good, is it?" 

Angus rests his head on the steering wheel. "Yeah." He sighs and raises his head. Angus turns the car towards the side of the road and the car slowly rolls to a stop. Angus rests his head on the steering wheel again as the music continues to play in the background. 

"Angus? Do you want me to turn the music off?" 

Angus nods against the steering wheel. "Please." 

The car falls into silence. Angus tries to futilely restart the car and curses. 

"How far would you say we are from the farm?" 

"About 20 minutes," Angus mutters, fiddling with his cell phone. 

Hypatia stares out the window, tapping her fingers on her sketchbook. "So are we just going to sit here?" 

Angus throws his cell phone on the seat next to him. "Well since nobody is responding to messages, I guess we're walking. Grab your duffle bag." 

"But we're werewolves, we could just push the car, right?" 

Angus nods. "That's true, but these are my nice pants."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it took me this long to update. I'm sorry :( 
> 
> I finally managed to squeeze some time in to do some writing this past week, but school is going to pick up in the next two weeks for the final stretch. I wanted to have the actual party occur in this chapter, but I thought something was better than nothing. Next time, there will be a party ;)
> 
> In case you were wondering what exactly Hamish is making - I'm providing the list of dishes, and what produce was procured from the Hale family farm - Blustery Blue Farm. 
> 
> Endives (farm) x  
> Arugula (farm) x  
> Pears (farm) x  
> Apples (farm)  
> Persimmon (farm) x  
> Parsnips (farm)  
> Kale (farm) x  
> Figs (farm) x  
> Eggplant (farm) x  
> Carrots (farm) x
> 
> 1\. Baba Ghanoush with vegetables (Vegan + GF)  
> 2\. Kale and persimmon salad with citrus dressing and toasted almonds. (Vegan + GF)  
> 3\. Fig prosciutto pizza with arugula  
> 4.Lentil mushroom walnut balls (Vegan)  
> 5.Shrimp stuffed mushrooms (GF)  
> 6.Pear parsnip soup (Vegetarian + GF)  
> 7.Meatballs with sauce  
> 8.Carrots with olive tapenade (Vegan + GF)  
> 9\. Sausage with mustard (GF)  
> 10\. Mushroom puffs (made ahead of time and then baked) (Vegetarian)  
> 11\. Tomato rosemary tart (Vegetarian)  
> 12\. Endive stuffed with goat cheese and walnuts (Vegetarian + GF)  
> 13\. Mini apple pies in wonton wrappers - spiced caramel dipping sauce (put out later)  
> 14\. Curried shrimp cups  
> 15\. Chicken satay  
> 16\. Chorizo and apples  
> 17\. Fresh spring rolls (Vegan + GF)  
> 18\. Pot de creme made with coconut milk. (Put out later) (Vegan + GF)
> 
> I'm sorry there was so much boring food stuff, my foodie is showing. Oops.


	4. Take the Long Way Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angus and Hypatia finally make it to the party.

Angus watches Hypatia send another spray of gravel into the tall grasses lining the ditch. He shakes his head and pokes his head back into the Jeep, extracting their bags. He squints down the highway, considering the walk, before deftly rolling up his shirtsleeves.

Hypatia pivots around and gasps dramatically. "Oh my god Angus! You're exposing your wrists! What about your virtue? What about MY virtue? How can anybody resist the gentle swell of your -" 

"So you're weird...and your virtue is safe." Angus slams the door and picks up both duffle bags. He gestures with his head. "C'mon we've got ourselves a bit of a trek."

Hypatia groans. "But this is not even the kind of trek I like though. Star Trek! I'm like hell yeah, sign me up. You know, I think I prefer that all my treks occur in air-conditioned environments...or in civilization...y'know where there's like two coffee shops on every corner and...benches."

Angus marches steadily down the side of the road. 

"I'm just saying I would not turn down a latte right now."  
\--------------------

Hamish marches outside carrying a tray of meatballs, the rest of his helpers follow suit placing their trays on a long rustic table. Hamish tilts his head, listening to the sounds in the distance. "And just in time too." He brusquely brushes a piece of imaginary lint off the table runner as Merida runs to greet her teammates. So he's surprised when a plate of deviled eggs is shoved underneath his nose. Hamish looks up and takes in the bearer of the plate, a girl with a shy smile and nose ring.

"Oh hi, Sunila."

"Hi Hamish. I made some deviled eggs for the party."

Hamish shakes his head. "Why?"

Sunila deflates, pulling the plate away from Hamish. "...People like them?" 

Hamish sighs. "I just mean...I made a lot of food." He gestures to the table laden with food. Hamish runs a hand through his hair. "Okay, I'll tell you what, let me try one, and if I think it's up to snuff with the rest of the table, I'll serve it." Hamish reaches for the plate before pausing and meeting Sunila's eyes. "Is that fair?"

Sunila nods hesitantly. Hamish pops a deviled egg in his mouth and chews thoughtfully. "I like the mixture of spices you've used, but it needs a little bit more salt." Hamish quickly reaches for another deviled egg. "But I'll find some room on the table for it."

\----------------------

Hypatia sighs loudly as another car passes them on the highway. "You could at least wave them down or something...because we've been walking for almost an hour." 

Angus marches steadily down the road. 

Hypatia turns. "Here's another car! It's your cue to wave your perfectly formed wrists about." Hypatia starts to gesture frantically at Angus. "C'mon, c'mon. They're not going to stop if we don't wave them down." 

Angus whirls around. "Will you just stop, Hypatia! If I didn't wave down the first 10 cars, what's going to make this one different? And let's say I wave them down and they do stop? Your mother entrusted me with your safety - I'm pretty sure letting you get in cars with strangers would be a direct violation of said responsibility. I like living thank you very much."

Hypatia rolls her eyes. "Oh my godddddd, Angus. You're like 18 going on 80, you seriously need to get a life." Angus shakes his head and walks tersely away. Hypatia scowls at Angus' back before making up her mind. She pounces on Angus and starts grabbing at his forearms trying to wave them about. 

Angus tries to shake her off, dropping the duffle bags in the process. “Have you lost your mind? Get off me!"

Hypatia squeaks and struggles to stay on her perch. "You can't live like a poorly manscaped bubble boy!" 

"Poorly manscaped...WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

"Angus, do you need a ride...or do you need me to call the cops? 

Angus and Hypatia slowly turn to look at the car stopped next to them. Hypatia hops off Angus' back and attempts to smooth her disheveled hair. Angus smooths out his shirt, brushing off the dust.

"Uh...hi Mrs. Aguilar-Garretson." 

The brunette in the passenger seat scoffs. “Who is this Missus? It's Maria." Was that your car two miles back?" 

Angus nods solemnly. 

Maria repeatedly smacks the driver's arm like she's punctuating her sentences. "Didn't I tell you, Luchito. I said that looks like Angus' rust bucket." Maria gives Angus and Hypatia a strange look. "Well what are you waiting for? Get in the car." 

Hypatia sags in relief and snatches up her dusty duffle bag lunging towards the car. "Oh my god. Thank you, thank you, you sweet beautiful woman!" 

Maria throws back her head and laughs. "I don't know about the sweet, but you can keep going with the beautiful, niña."

Angus stares at Hypatia sitting in the backseat and pinches the bridge of his nose. "I've seen moths with better self-preservation," he mutters.

\----------------  
There's a large group of people gathered in a semi-circle around a table where Hamish sits with two other women. A woman steps forward and places a dish on the table. Hamish and the two women sample brownish goo. Hamish purses his lips and takes a sip of his glass of water. "So Monica...do you like to recycle?" 

Monica nods. "Who bloody doesn't? It's easy enough." 

Hamish temples his fingers. "Well I could tell you like to recycle because this _tastes_ like you visited the Beacon Hills High School dumpster after Tuna Fish Casserole Tuesday and made whatever this is. This isn't fit for human consumption. This belongs in the trash." Hamish takes a sip of water. 

Monica gives Hamish a quick wink. "Cheeky bugger."

Hamish looks expectedly to his left. A stout woman with tattooed arms rubs her chin. "Well...Monica, he's not far off. What dish were you going for?"

Monica crosses her arms and rolls her eyes. "It's French onion dip." 

The stout woman grimaces. "Well the texture is...well it resembles wallpaper paste, but yet there's crunchy shards of a miscellaneous substance ...and it does have a slightly fishy aftertaste which I really don't know how you managed to accomplish." She pushes the plate away and looks to her left. 

A perfectly coiffed blonde carefully dabs at her lips with a napkin. "I think it's obvious that you put a lot of effort into this dish, but I'm afraid I have to agree with Hamish and Big Debbie. Sorry, Monica. Better luck next time."

Monica tips the dish into the trashcan next to the table. She raises her hands triumphantly in the air. "I have attempted to appease the gastronomical gods...and have incurred their wrath." Monica poses dramatically before bursting into laughter. "And I can't believe they ate that. I didn't have onions so I had to improvise...actually I didn't have _a lot_ of the ingredients I needed." 

The crowd's response is mixed, torn between laughter and gagging. Big Debbie takes a long drink of water.  
Hamish stares in horror at Monica. "WHAT DID I PUT IN MY MOUTH?!" 

Monica darts away laughing. Hamish chases after her. "What did I put in my mouth, Monica!"

Monica nearly falls over laughing. "You don't want to know."

Hamish attempts to catch Monica one more time but she quickly darts away. Hamish suddenly stops, aware of his amused-looking audience. He furrows his brow. "You are all horrible people,” he proclaims before stomping towards the house. He turns around to address the crowd. "Eat the food that I made right now, please." 

Angus sidles up to where Merida is watching Hamish's antics. "And how is the family Olympian?" 

Merida looks over. "Just watching the latest episode of The Hamish Show." 

Angus side-hugs Merida and she groans. "Were you seriously trying to surprise me?" 

Angus laughs. "A little."

Merida shakes her head. "Unfortunately your plan was foiled by Fergus not shutting up about Hypatia's impending visit. A _week_ of sappiness. That boy's written like five odes to Hypatia's eyes and I think he's even composed one about her toe nails or rather 'the talons of righteousness'."

Angus grimaces. "Oh you poor, poor girl. Where are the rulers of this madhouse?" 

"Last time I saw them they were conspiring by the grill. Follow your nose. Also go forth and mingle." 

Merida steps back and inspects Angus' attire. "I guess Seattle hasn't magically transformed you into a normal 18 year old boy. Darn," she says drily.

Angus curls his lip. "You are hilaaaaarious." 

\-------------  
Stiles rotates a sausage on the grill before looking back at Derek. He sighs and rests the tongs on the table. Stiles snaps his fingers in front of Derek's face. "No. No. You need to stop staring at him, you're being a bad example." Stiles gestures to the ball of fluff cradled in the nook of Derek's arm. 

Derek and Burp look away from the man standing at the table and focus on Stiles. "But he's eating our food, " Derek hisses. 

Stiles rests his forehead in his hand. "Rad's supposed to be eating the food. He _was_ invited. It is a party."

Derek glowers in the direction of the table. "Rad just wants to have a party in Merida's pants. What kind of name is Rad anyway?" Burp looks in the direction of the table and growls. 

"He's just eating dip, very innocuously, because he's a nice guy."

Derek, Burp, and Stiles watch the man survey the party as he eats dip. Rad, somewhat distracted, misses his mouth, smearing dip down his chin. He quickly grabs a handful of napkins and proceeds to wipe at his face, furtively looking around to make sure that nobody noticed, but makes eye contact with Stiles and Derek instead. Stiles quickly looks down and focuses his attention on the grill, but quickly glances up to make sure the coast is clear, Derek is pointedly looking at Rad. Stiles quickly slaps Derek in the chest. "Stop it."

Angus approaches and looks quickly between his parents and Rad. "Uh, okay. So the car broke down 18 miles down the road."

"Why didn't you call us? Wait how did you get here? Where's Hypatia?"

Angus tilts his head and waits for his dad to stop talking. "I tried calling and texting everybody multiple times. Mrs. Aguilar-Garretson gave us a ride. Hypatia went off with Fergus." 

Stiles and Derek exchange a long look. Derek sighs and passes the dog over to Stiles. "Do you think it's the battery?"

Angus shrugs. "The battery, the alternator, or its will to live - one of those."

"Great. Well, I guess I'm going for a run. Keys, Angus."

Angus tosses his keys and Derek snatches them out of the air with one hand.

Stiles presses his lips to Derek’s cheek. “Call me if you need reinforcements. Good luck raising it from the dead.” 

Derek walks briskly behind the barn, out of sight of the partygoers, before running full tilt into the woods. 

Stiles turns to face Angus. “Okay, you’re on the grill. Burp and I are going to search for your brother and his partner in crime.”

Stiles looks at the milling crowd of people on his lawn before turning back to Angus. “Uh. Could you point the non-werewolf in the right direction?”

Angus picks up the tongs and waves them in the direction of the house. 

Stiles waves his hand in thanks. “Hopefully, I’ll be back soon...yeah.”

“Good luck, Dad.” Angus watches Stiles fade into the crowd. Angus turns his attention to the grill, staring at the coals. 

“It’s Angus, right?” 

Angus whirls around and takes a second to appreciate the appearance of the man in front of him, the whorls of ink on his skin, his warm brown eyes. “That is me, yes. I don’t think we’ve been introduced really…or do you want me to call you Luchito too?” 

The man laughs and adjusts his glasses, before offering his hand. “Rad Luis Garretson. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Maybe one or two more chapters from here. :D


	5. Q&A

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rad and Angus get to know each other. Stiles tries to deal with his kids.

"You've heard a lot about me? I find that hard to believe."

Rad nods. "Well, it's true. Your dads talk about their talented son all the time. Merida talks all the time about her cool brother all the time." 

"Now I know you're lying," Angus laughs. 

Rad smiles and crosses his arms. "I think you'll just have to tell me about yourself then what with my honor and your reputation as being talented and cool at stake."

Angus shakes his head. "If you have such a vested interest, how can I guarantee your impartiality?"

Rad gives Angus a quick wink. "Who said anything about being impartial?" 

Angus shakes his head in disbelief. "I can't believe you just winked at me."

Rad looks surprised. "I winked at you? Are you sure?" He shifts his glasses out of the way and rubs at his eye. "I think something was in my eye."

Angus looks away, face tinged red with embarrassment. "Oh, sorry..." He uses the tongs to prod at the items on the grill.

Rad gently nudges Angus' arm. When Angus ultimately turns to look at Rad, he's met with a giant grin. "No, I definitely winked at you."

Angus' face turns red for an entirely different reason. "You're a goofball."

Rad nods. "Yes, but that's Dr. Goofball to you."

Angus gives Rad a strange look. "Wait, how old are you?" 

"I am a horribly decrepit 25."

Angus nods sagely. " I can tell. You might have sacrificed your good looks and youth, but having a doctorate at 25 is impressive." 

Rad nods his head. "Well my mom likes to brag about it. But you're forgetting the objective of this discussion, you're supposed to be telling me about you." 

Angus shrugs. "It's nothing impressive." 

Rad sighs. "So we're going to do this the hard way?" 

Angus gives Rad a flinty look. "I guess so." 

Rad rubs his hands together. " I do so love a challenge. What school do you go to?"

Angus nonchalantly turns a sausage over on the grill. "University of Washington." 

"And what's your major?"

"I'm getting a degree in Computer Science and Strings." 

"I take it you don't mean string theory."

"No, it's just the musical kind. Viola specifically."

Rad nods. "That's cool. What made you want to get a double degree?"

Angus idly pushes a sausage on the grill. "Oh well I was originally just majoring in computer science and --" 

Hamish jostles Angus, snatching the tongs out of his hand. "You're off the grill, you and your awkward sausage mangling. This is a quality meat product and you're treating it like some dumpster-salvaged dorm room fare." 

Angus rolls his eyes. "Do you want help with anything else?"

"From the Chupacabra of Cooking? No thank you." 

Angus looks at Rad." I'm really not that bad."

Hamish looks between Rad and Angus before settling on Rad, giving him a long look. "I hope you like burnt cup ramen and beef jerky." Hamish pushes Angus away from the grill. "Now shoo." He slides a flatbread onto the unoccupied portion of the grill before turning a sausage.

Angus and Rad amble towards the buffet table. " "I'm really tempted to ask how one burns cup ramen."

Angus scratches his head. "Yeah, I was 11 and thought I would help my parents out, but I got distracted...and it was not pretty or tasty. But I'm much better at cooking now."

Hamish snorts loudly. "No. No, you are not."

Angus' face turns red and gives Rad a slight smile. "Well, most of the time my food is edible."

Rad smiles warmly. "It's not a deal breaker. Though I'll have you know I'm a pretty good cook."

Angus pokes Rad in the ribs. "A doctor and a pretty good cook, are you sure you're not a cyborg?" 

Rad laughs. "Well I could show you my belly button, but I believe you were answering my question."

Rad stretches his heavily tattooed arm, reaching for a mushroom puff. Angus stares at the bare skin distracted by the designs, before he quickly grabs a plate, loading it with hors d'oeuvres. "Uh yeah, so I was a computer science major but I was playing in the school symphony. My now advisor and I guess mentor, Nira, threatened to cut my fingers off unless I became a music major." 

Angus tilts his head rethinking the sentence in his head. "I mean not literally because she's a pacifist, but she just said it was a waste to be talented and to have fingers if you aren't making music with them. But I get a scholarship, which is really nice because out of state tuition is ridiculous, and I get to play music, which I love...and I really think I could have answered that question in a less convoluted way."

Rad whistles. "You must be pretty good if a pacifist threatens to cut off your fingers." 

Angus rubs the back of his head. "I guess. I have the advantage of perfect pitch."

Rad shakes his head. "Nope, the ruling is that you are cool. You can appeal, but it's a complicated process. There's lots of paperwork." 

Angus shakes his head. "I think I have enough witnesses to attest to my low cool factor. " 

"Well, I guess they don't see what I see," Rad says matter-of-factly.

\-------------------

Stiles looks around first floor, quiet except for Hamish bustling around in the kitchen. "Doing okay, Mish-Mash?"

Hamish starts whisking frantically. "Busy, but okay."

"You've seen your brother?" 

"Angus? He's outside."

"No, I know that part. He's manning the grill." 

Hamish stops whisking abruptly. "You've left Angus, Harbinger of Food Poisoning, alone, grilling food that people will eat?"

"He's not that bad, Hamish." 

Hamish quickly checks the status of his dishes before lowering the burner. "You're only saying that because you whelped him, it's like a parental obligation." 

Stiles nods. "Exactly, and I need to find Fergus now, one of those other parental obligations." 

"He's upstairs," Hamish mutters as he stalks towards the door. "Now I have to rescue the sausages from Angus' ineptitude."

Stiles calls after him, "Try to be nice!" Stiles shakes his head and makes his way up the stairs and starts to walk towards Hamish and Fergus' bedroom, but pauses when he hears a suspicious noise. Stiles rolls his eyes and heads back down the hallway to Merida and Elinor's room. He knocks on the closed door. "Elinor?" He shakes his head as he listens to a series of thuds. Burp looks at the door, tilting his head at each sound.

The door finally opens and Elinor smooths down her curls before smiling brightly. "Hi Dad!" 

"There are no goats allowed in the house, Elinor Hale."

Elinor nods her head, a serious look on her face. "Oh, I know." 

Stiles sighs and steps into the bedroom. He looks around the room, taking note of the rumpled bedspread and disheveled desk. He turns and looks at Elinor, who quickly glances away from the closet door. "There are goats in the closet, aren't there."

Elinor gives Stiles a guilty look. "But they just wanted to watch the party." 

Stiles stares expectedly at Elinor as he pets the dog in his arms.

Elinor looks away nervously. "Um, I'll just take Allie, Meggie, and Trissie back out to the pasture." 

Stiles nods. "That's a good plan. When you come back, you might want to clean your room too. I don't think Merida will appreciate the fact that you let the goats jump on her bed. I think a full degoatification is warranted, so new sheets, missy. Annnnnd you're doing the laundry."

"They weren't really jumping, per se..."

Stiles gives Elinor a long, suffering look. "Now."

Elinor nods frantically, opening the closet door and guiding the three goats out of the room. Stiles sighs as he listens to the commotion involved in getting goats down stairs.

He looks down at Burp. "This is some sort of twisted parenting karma, isn't it?" Burp only licks his arm repeatedly in response. 

Stiles shakes his head as walks out of the girls' room and cursorily inspects the damage to the stairwell before heading towards his original destination. He pauses at the door when he hears voices. He leans towards the door, and inwardly curses his normal human hearing. 

"Will it hurt?" 

"Yes. Fergie, sweetie, I need you to stay still and be relatively quiet, I need to concentrate."

Stiles purses his lips. His mind immediately runs through the worse case scenarios. He shakes his head trying to clear it of the disturbing thoughts. Stiles tightens his grip on Burp and quickly opens the doors, his eyes clenched shut. "Please don't be naked."

Stiles carefully opens one eye. Hypatia and Fergus are frozen in place on Fergus' bed. Fergus doesn't have a shirt on. Stiles groans, "Please tell me this isn't what it looks like."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. I had a lot of difficulty with this chapter. Thanks for reading!


	6. Are You Coming Back?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's trouble in Beacon Hills and it might just put a dent in the party plans.

Stiles rubs his forehead. "I don't care if it's Sharpie. He's my kid, please don't draw on him in permanent marker." 

Fergus frowns. "But I asked Hypatia to do it! How else would I know what kind of tattoo I would want there?" 

"Tattoo?" Stiles splutters. "You're 16, you have no business even thinking about tattoos right now."

"But Uncle Scott -" 

"No. You don't get to pull the Uncle Scott card. You do know tattooing werewolves involves a blowtorch, right? I'm not a big fan of people brûlée-ing my kids, Fergus." 

Hypatia looks horrified. "What blowtorch? What?"

Stiles sighs and gestures lazily with his head. "So the ink stays visible, you have to blowtorch it. I've seen it done." 

Hypatia shakes her head. "This is what happens when people take tattooing into their own hands because it _really_ doesn't require a blowtorch. I've been watching my great aunt and uncle tattoo werewolves for years. No werewolf brûlée."

Stiles pauses. "Huh. Well. How about we table this discussion of tattoos until Fergus is actually _legally_ capable of obtaining one. So yeah, go mingle outside where there are plenty of witnesses, so no funny business."

\------------  
Derek arrives at the Jeep and braces himself against the vehicle, breathing deeply. He pulls his cellphone out of his pocket. "34 minutes. I've still. got. it." Derek puts his phone back in his pocket and wipes at his face with the hem of his shirt. 

He removes the keys from his pocket and opens the car door. Derek tries turning on the ignition to no avail. Derek sighs and presses a lever, popping the hood of the Jeep.

He hops out of the car and examines the engine, poking at its innards. He growls and slides his cell phone out of his pocket. He dials a number and waits, idly kicking the tire. 

"Hello, I need a tow." Derek looks around, trying to determine his location. "Old Beacons Hill Highway near the 15 mile marker. It's a blue Jeep".

Derek frowns into the phone. "Yes, this Derek Hale?" He shakes his head as he listens to the person on the other side of the line. "Believe me, I don't take pleasure in that fact." Derek rolls his eyes. "Don't get me wrong, Frank, I'm happy little Jessica doesn't have an overbite, but I have five kids to put through college myself."  


Derek nods. "Yeah, okay. See you in 10."

Derek opens the passenger door and pokes around, collecting any relevant belongings. He pauses when he hears a honk. "Well that was fast." But instead of the tow truck, Derek sees Stiles' dad waving at him. He walks over to the sedan containing the former sheriff, Melissa, Allison, and Allison and Scott's kids, Olivia and Madison. "Hey Dad."

"The Big Blue Beast giving you trouble again, Derek?" 

"If there's one thing that's reliable about it, it's that."

Stiles' dad shakes his head. "You boys do know you're going to eventually have to pony up for a new car."

Derek snorts. "New car? No. New to us car, it might be in the cards." 

Derek sidles up to the car and peers into the interior and waves. "How did the match go, Olivia?" 

A lanky girl awkwardly situated in the backseat of the car answers with a small shrug. 

Allison rolls her eyes and nudges her oldest daughter. "She was awesome AND her team won."  
Olivia nods in confirmation.

Melissa shakes her head from the driver's seat. "Olivia, sweetie, I love you, but you really need to learn to celebrate your achievements, because you _are_ awesome...and I'm not only saying that because I am your grandmother."

Derek nods. "Your grandmother is right. Did your dad get to see your win?" 

Olivia shakes her head and the mood in the car changes. Stiles' dad rubs his jaw. "Deaton and Scott went to investigate an animal attack." Derek fixes his attention on the former sheriff, a burning intensity in his eyes. "Don't look at me like that, Derek, I'm telling you what I know as I know it, but it's not looking good." 

Derek growls. "How not good?" 

"There are four dead bodies. Four werewolf bodies." 

"Four -" Derek bites back a curse. 

"They only found them two hours ago."

Derek pulls out his phone and sends a quick text. "I need a ride."

"It's a little tight back there." 

Derek glowers at the passengers in the back of the car. "Make. Room." 

\---------------

Angus laughs. "You're trying to flirt with me. Using science!" 

Rad grins. "Is it working?" 

Angus drags a carrot through the eggplant dip on his plate before biting into it with a satisfying crunch. He tilts his head and chews thoughtfully. "Maybe." He looks away from Rad's bright smile. "But don't think that I'm about to wax poetic in binary code." 

Rad grins. "Don't worry, we already established I'm not a cyborg. You may wax poetic in English."

Angus smiles, pleased with himself. “I’ll keep that in mind."

Rad looks at Angus, all his attention and focus solely on him, and Angus begins to feel uneasy with the intensity of the inspection. "Do you want to go for coffee?" 

Angus shakes his head, startled. "Now?" 

Rad shrugs. "I don't see why not. Your sister is busy celebrating with her teammates. Everybody is sick of seeing my face. We're literally just hanging out with the hors d'oeuvres." Rad looks around, noting the wide berth the rest of the partygoers are giving them. 

Angus looks around. "Huh." 

Rad nods. "And the hors d'oeuvres are really good and there's absolutely no good reason why this table isn't being slammed by hungry women. I personally take this as a sign that they probably want us to leave. So let me buy you a coffee and I can get to know you away without the whole team, my mother, and basically your entire family watching."

Angus nods. "Those are all very good points, but I can buy my own coffee." 

Rad nods in agreement. "I definitely agree but by the laws of dating, I, the inviter, am morally obligated to offer to purchase the invitee's meal/coffee with no strings attached.”

Angus raises his eyebrow. "So now it's a meal?"

Rad gives Angus an enigmatic look. "Maybe."

Angus nods knowingly. "Okay that resolves that issue. I'm in. But you do remember that my car is very far away and not in, what one could call, working condition." 

Rad nods and grins. "Despite my advanced age, my mind is like a steel trap. Let me just ask my mom." Rad abruptly spins around and stalks off, muttering to himself.

Angus tries to hide his smile as he hears Rad's disparaging tirade. "'Let me just ask my mom'. Real smooth, Rad. Maybe if I ask nicely she'll let him sleep over too."  
\-------

A blue-haired woman makes a shrill sound, nudging the woman next to her. "Ornell, How are they so cute? I could totally ship them."

"I can see it, Farris. Rad is like a wild science cowboy and Merida's brother is all prim and proper like an English aristocrat."

Farris gasps in excitement. "An English aristocrat _vampire_." 

Ornell nods, her dark braids dancing with the movement. "I didn't even think vampire, but that totally works. But then it should be steampunk."

"How are you so good at this, Ornell? I'm writing that down right now." Farris pulls out her phone and starts tapping away.

"What masterpiece are you two writing now?"

Ornell and Farris whirl around in surprise. "Merida! Where did you come from?" 

Merida looks puzzled. "The orchard? I was showing Mallorie and Sunila the tree house I built." 

Sunila nods. "It was impressively sturdy and well decorated." 

Mallorie nods in agreement. "It's like a gallery up there with all these awesome vintage horror movie posters. It's really cool." 

Merida tilts her head. "I can't take any credit for that, I keep telling you. My brother's girlfriend, Hypatia, made all the posters. I get them for my birthday and holidays and basically whenever. Though I'm not complaining because they are awesome."

Ornell and Farris exchange a look. Merida sobers. "What's going on guys?" 

Farris bites her lip. "Rad took your brother on a date." The words erupt from her mouth like machine gun shells.

Merida shakes her head and growls. "He what?"

Ornell brushes her braids away from her face, looking away from Merida. "We heard Rad ask Coach for the car so he could take Angus out...on a coffee date," she mumbles. 

Merida stares, a numb look on her face. "A date. Like a date date."

"Yes. A date, Chaney." 

"How do you know it was a date? Maybe they just wanted to get some coffee or something? I mean Angus doesn't have a car. Rad's nice like that, he would give him a ride if Angus asked."

Farris winces. "But then Ornell and I offered to give Maria a ride home." 

Merida's face pales. "Oh." 

She looks down the driveway, noticing the missing vehicle. "I'm going to kill him." 

Farris and Ornell look at each other anxiously. Farris opens her mouth in protest. "It's really not Rad's fault." 

Merida turns away from the women and shakes her head abruptly. "Not Rad," she drawls. "I'm going to kill Angus."  
\---------------

Stiles shoos Hypatia and Fergus out the door. "Now go mingle." Burp dances around Fergus' feet.

Fergus freezes just outside the door. "Oh shit. Merida has laser eyes." 

"Language!" Stiles chides automatically before rewinding the scene in his head. "Shit."  
Fergus and Hypatia start walking quickly towards Merida, Burp trailing behind them.

Hamish jostles Stiles, shoving a wooden spoon into his hand, as he exits the house rushing to help Fergus and Hypatia. "Make sure the caramel doesn't burn." 

When Hamish arrives at the scene, Fergus and Hypatia are each grasping one of Merida's arms, lifting her inches above the ground. Hamish positions himself behind Merida and starts steering the group towards the house. "Merida! I am so glad I found you. I have a surprise for you in the house. Let's go there now."

Fergus, Hypatia, and Hamish wrangle Merida towards the door, Burp following in their wake. Merida looks solemnly at Hypatia. "I will systematically pull each organ through his nose. Throw them in a blender with some wolfsbane and then make him drink it." Hypatia winces. Merida turns to look at Fergus. "I'm going to turn his stupid viola into splinters and strategically place each one into his heart until he feels how I feel right now."

Fergus grimaces. "But maybe -" 

Merida glares into this distance, her eyes glowing yellow. "I'm going to drop that stupid Jeep on his stupid head."

\------------

Rad taps his long fingers on the steering wheel in time to the music. He looks over at Angus. "So are there any casual, but intimate, places in town that you would recommend for a coffee slash meal."

Angus throws his head back and thinks about his options. Rad's eyes flicker to the pale stretch of his throat. Angus clears his throat and Rad flinches turning his eyes back to the road. "I don't know about all that, but Jerrilyn's Diner has good food and coffee milkshakes."

"Well I'm sold."  
\--------------------------

Stiles distractedly paces outside of the bathroom in which Merida, Hamish, Burp, Fergus and Hypatia are ensconced. His jean pocket buzzes intermittently. Stiles takes a break from trying to decipher the situation through a door to pull his phone out of his pocket. He reads his collection of new messages and his face gradually pales. Stiles bangs on the door. Hypatia cracks the door open. Stiles cranes his neck and sees Merida cradling Burp as Hamish and Fergus awkwardly attempt to comfort her. Stiles looks Hypatia in the eyes. "This is very important. There's been four murders in town." Merida, Hamish and Fergus pause and focus on Stiles. "It's looking like the victims are all werewolves. We've initiated lockdown protocols. I need to know where Angus is. Has anybody seen Elinor recently?" 

Merida looks dully at Stiles. "Angus went on a date with Rad. I saw Elinor at the goat barn about 10 minutes ago." 

Stiles gives Merida a compassionate look. "Oh Merida." Stiles shakes his head. "I need to go get Elinor. Hamish and Hypatia, I need you to get all the partygoers inside. Fergus, I need you to call Angus and tell him to turn his butt around. Merida, if you want to help that would be great, but if you just feel like staying in the bathroom that's good too." The teenagers nod, accepting their tasks, and then the group disperses. 

Stiles grabs a pouch of mountain ash from a side table before he runs out the door, towards the goat barn.

Hamish and Hypatia follow behind him. Hamish starts to clap his hands and holler. "Can I get your attention?" The party attendees pause in their feeding frenzy at the buffet table. "Okay. I need everybody to raise their hands if they're aware of the crazy shit that happens in Beacon Hills."

There's a flurry of hands as they rise into the air. 

"Exactly. So some of that crazy shit might be happening now. I recommend that everybody grab a platter and head inside."

\-----------

Stiles pants as he runs through the field. Pain lances his side. However the sight of Elinor, safe, in the middle of the pasture, walking away from the barn, is a balm to his nerves. He slows his pace, relief evident on his face. 

However he feels like the blood in his veins freezes when he spots a strange man standing in the tree line. He starts running again, gesturing at the tree line. "ELINOR! GET TO THE PENS!" 

He watches Elinor's curls fly as she turns her head towards the trees. Noticing the stranger, she turns and starts running back towards the barn. Stiles' heart sinks as he realizes that the stranger is now on the move, giving chase to his 12-year-old daughter. Stiles is too far away. All he can do is watch as the man catches up to his daughter just outside of the goat pens, the goat pens made out of mountain ash. 

"ELINOR!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about that :/ 
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	7. Fire in the Blood/Snake Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elinor's life hangs in the balance. Where is Angus? Also, there's a barbecue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is definitely a departure from the fluff/crack of the past (maybe not a total departure). This chapter does contain violence typical of episodes of Teen Wolf, so fair warning. However, if you think this chapter warrants more warning and/or specific tags, please let me know.

The straggly-haired man lifts Elinor off the ground, his ragged claws digging into her neck. "I've got your mutt," the stranger singsongs. 

Stiles approaches the man, his hands raised in a placating manner. "Just let her go and nobody will get hurt." 

The interloper scoffs. "Its mere existence is a ragged wound allowing disease and infection to lay waste to our universe. It makes the meat fetid. It turns the water into pus." He finishes his rant by scratching fervently at his pockmarked face.

Stiles pauses, fully aware of the danger of this deranged stranger. "She's a 12 year old girl. Elinor has nothing to do with your...pus water." 

The crazed werewolf violently shakes Elinor. She whimpers as the werewolf's claws cut into her neck. "It is an abomination."

Stiles gives the stranger a flinty, resolute look. "No, she is my daughter, and you will let her go _now_." 

The stranger laughs. "Or you'll what?" He tauntingly dangles Elinor before Stiles. 

Stiles pulls the pouch out from behind his back, brandishing it triumphantly. 

The stranger's eyes slide to the pouch before returning to Stiles' face. The werewolf tilts his head, the greasy strands of his hair slide away from his face, revealing a web of silvery scars. "What you got in the pouch? Wolfsbane?" The man lowers his head. "Mountain ash? It can't stop _The Culling_." He starts to slowly squeeze Elinor's neck.

\----------------  
When Melissa pulls up to the farmhouse, the lawn is empty. The occupants of the car only see a string of lights sadly illuminating a ransacked buffet table. Derek jumps out of the car before it even comes to a stop. 

Allison calls after him. "I don't see any blood, Derek, that's a good sign at least!"

Merida opens the front door, hovering near a line of mountain ash. "Dad went to go get Elinor from the goat barn, but he's not back yet." 

Derek swears and takes off running. 

Merida calls after him. "Do you want me to help?"

"Just keep your brothers safe, Merida!"

Derek runs frantically towards the pen. He roars as he spots Elinor dangling from the werewolf's grasp, her legs kicking futilely as his grip tightens.

"If it isn't the Alpha," the werewolf drawls. 

"Let her go. Now."

The werewolf grimaces and shrugs. "Or what? You'll kill me?" The werewolf shakes Elinor about and laughs. "How about this? You can try to kill me but I'll just keep squeezing and squeezing 'til her head explodes like a tick."

Derek and Stiles exchange a long look and Derek nods his head, prepared to act when the stranger is jolted forward. The scarred werewolf looks behind him a scoffs. "A goat? I'm quaking in my boots." The goat backs up and prepares to ram again, but the werewolf turns away from it, unconcerned. This time however when the goat hits, the werewolf's grasp of Elinor loosens and she falls to the ground and scrambles towards Derek and Stiles. 

Stiles quickly encases Elinor in a protective embrace. "Oh thank the gods."

The werewolf growls enraged that his prey has escaped its grasp. He turns to face the goat. "That's fucking it, you piece of meat. Try that again and you're dinner."

Elinor coughs, rubbing her neck. "Boop," she croaks. 

Boop backs up and starts running at the werewolf again. The werewolf growls and kicks his leg out, catching Boop in the head. Boop stumbles away, shaking her head, before turning to face the werewolf again. Boop lowers her head and begins to bleat ominously.

Stiles gives Derek an uneasy look. Derek and Stiles simultaneously grab Elinor and start backing away from the werewolf and Boop. Boop's bleating draws the other goats to her and they start gathering around the intruder. The werewolf snarls, trying to scare the goats off but they are unperturbed. 

Boop gives one last long bleat before falling silent. Derek thinks that he saw Boop's eyes flash red, but there really is very little warning. Boop seems to belch and then the werewolf bursts into green flames. Stiles covers Elinor's eyes, Derek tries to cover Elinor's ears so she doesn't have to witness the jagged movements and anguished screams as the werewolf burns to death. It doesn't take long until there's a charred lump where there used to be a horrible person. It smells like barbecue. Stiles briefly considers a stint as a vegetarian. 

Stiles stares in disbelief at the scene in front of him. He looks at Derek. "The goats breathe fire?"

Derek looks sidelong at the goats that are starting to nibble at the still smoldering corpse. "I'm not sure they're actually _just_ goats now."

Stiles shakes his head. "Why do we live here?" Stiles pauses. "That was a rhetorical question."

Derek makes a noncommittal noise and he looks at the "goats" pulling strips of flesh off the corpse. "I'm just wondering if I should be letting the maybe-not-goats eat that. They might get bloat." 

Stiles gives Derek a long look before his hands flutter about. "By all means, try to shoo the fire-breathing goats away from the murderous meth head werewolf corpse." Stiles pauses. "On second thought, yeah… don't let them eat it." 

Derek nods. "Yeah I was thinking the same thing." Derek walks up to the goats and awkwardly tries shooing them back into their pens. Elinor breaks away from Stiles to help, but makes a quick detour to give the burnt husk of the werewolf a quick kick. Elinor makes swift work of returning the animals to their pens. Elinor spends a moment to inspect Boop's head before she proceeds to scratch Boop's neck, murmuring her gratitude. 

Derek gently touches Elinor’s shoulder. “You doing okay, kiddo?” Derek examines Elinor’s neck, his veins briefly discoloring. “I’m sorry I didn’t get here fast enough. I’m so sorry.” Elinor hides her face in her dad’s shirt. Derek strokes his daughter's hair, consoling her. "Do you want a piggyback ride to the house?" Elinor nods mutely into his shirt before climbing onto Derek's back. 

Derek and Stiles proceed to walk back to the house. Stiles pauses in his tracks. "Oh shit. I nearly forgot." Stiles darts back to the goat pens to complete the mountain ash barrier. "No more pesky supernatural creatures will be bothering you tonight, ladies and gentlemen." Boop gives Stiles a dull look before settling down on her platform. “Not that you guys can’t handle yourselves.” Boop keeps staring at Stiles. “I’m just going to go now.” 

Stiles jogs to catch up with Derek. Stiles spends the walk back to the house trying to make Elinor smile with varying degrees of success. Any work that Stiles has done to lighten the mood is dashed when the small group sees Fergus' anguished face at the door. 

"I can't get a hold of Angus! I can’t get a hold of him!"

Stiles nods. “Okay, let’s take things one step at a time. Breathe.” 

Fergus takes a deep breath. “ I tried calling his phone on my phone and the house line. Hypatia even tried calling him. Nada. Nil. Zip. Zilch. Diddly - ”

“Okay Fergus, we get the picture.” Stiles pauses, looking around at his house. He looks at the line of mountain ash. “ Who did that?” Fergus tilts his head. “Uh. Coach Aguilar-Garretson did the front door the first time and then….” Fergus looks around. “Uh Farris did one, I think, or maybe it was Ornell, one of them, but I was focused on calling Angus. And then Grandma Melissa redid the line –” 

Derek looks around. “ Where is Grandma Melissa?”

Melissa fights her way through the crowd in the kitchen.“Oh god. Why am I hearing my name? Did somebody get hurt?” 

"Elinor was attacked and strangled by a werewolf, just want to make sure she's okay." 

Melissa looks seriously at Derek and Stiles. "Did she lose consciousness?" Stiles and Derek look at each other before shaking their heads. 

"Okay let's move this to where there's better light." Melissa guides Elinor to the kitchen, Derek, Fergus, Merida, and Stiles follow. 

Derek gestures to the countertop. "Do you want her on the counter?"

Melissa nods and Derek hoists Elinor onto the counter. Melissa nods her head, a gentle look on her face. "Okay, Elinor sweetie, I'm just going to look at your eyes right now." Melissa inspects Elinor's face and nods. "Okay. Everything looks fine there - there's no redness. That's good." 

Melissa looks at Elinor's throat. "When you breathe, Elinor, does it hurt? Is it hard to breathe?"

Elinor thinks for a second. "No. But Al-pa took the pain." 

Melissa flashes a quick glare at Derek. "Always better to do that after an examination. That's a symptom that's useful to have for a diagnosis."

Derek looks defensive. "I wasn't just going to watch her be in pain." 

Stiles pats Derek's arm consolingly. "I noticed she had some hoarseness earlier."

Elinor pipes up in a perfectly normal tone. "I'm 12! I'm not a baby. You don't have to talk over me." 

Melissa gives Stiles and Derek a wry look. "Well it looks like if she had any dysphonia, it's gone now."

Melissa looks directly into Elinor's eyes. "I'm going to go with my gut here, Elinor, and say physically you're fine. If you start feeling bad again - you have trouble swallowing or breathing - I want you to let an adult know right away."

Elinor nods. Merida gestures to Elinor. "C'mon. Let's get to our room, get in our PJs, get in bed, and watch a movie with Madison and Olivia. We'll have a slumber party."

Elinor freezes before she bursts into tears. "But the goats were on the beds!" 

Merida makes a soothing noise and gives her a hug. "Then we'll make a blanket fort with them then. It's okay, Ellie. We'll have fun. We'll keep you safe." Elinor nods, her sobs haltingly transforming into sniffles. Merida guides Elinor up the stairs.

Fergus looks between Merida and Elinor's retreating figures and his parents. "So I guess I'll just keep trying to reach Angus."

Stiles then abruptly slaps himself in the forehead. "Did you get any texts or calls from Angus earlier, Fergus?"

Fergus gives his dad a weird look. "No."

Derek and Stiles pull out their respective phones and check for any message. Derek and Stiles exchange a long look. Stiles sighs. "So we're going to function under the impression that Angus' phone is broken, not that something horrible has happened." 

"That boy is like a gremlin," Derek mutters. Stiles gently slaps his arm. 

Fergus ponders his father's statement. "So do you want me to try calling Rad then?" 

Derek's brow furrows. "Angus is with Rad?!?!"

\-------------------

Rad smiles and takes a sip of his coffee milkshake. "So you're telling me that I have the pleasure of enjoying a delicious coffee milkshakes with one half of the illustrious electronic duo, Wookiee Wedding. How old were you when you came up with that name?

Angus laughs, choking a little on his milkshake. "I think we were 14. It was the only thing that we could agree on that wasn't Vegan Vengeance. Roscoe wasn't allowed to eat animal products."

"I'm assuming you guys do a lot of Star Wars-themed parties." 

Angus rolls his eyes and sighs. "You would not believe. This one family wanted us to dress up as Wookiees."

"You mean you guys don't already?"

Angus stares. "No, I have standards." 

"Did you end up dressing up?"

Angus grimaces. "Yes, but it cost extra."

Rad laughs. "Good to know!"

Angus returns the smile. His gaze slides to an unkempt man in the opposite corner of the diner. The fluorescent lighting in the diner doesn't do his complexion any favors, instead highlighting every pockmark, sore, and scar. An aura of danger seems to emanate from him. Angus quickly looks away, discomfited by the man.

Rad fiddles with his straw. "So I think we should do this again the next time you're in town." 

Angus smiles. "I would like that. I'll be in town over the Thanksgiving break."

A smile erupts on Rad's face. "That's great! Could I have your number to tide me over?"

Angus shakes his head, smiling. "Of course you can." 

Rad pulls out his cellphone and jumps when it starts ringing in his hand. "Is it okay if I get this?" 

Angus nods graciously. 

Rad answers the phone, but can only listen to the flood of information coming from the other end of the line. 

Angus nonchalantly pulls out his wallet and enough money to cover the bill. He watches the strange, potentially dangerous man from the corner of his eye. 

Rad gives Angus an alarmed look. "Your dad told me to tell you --" 

Angus nods. "We need to get out of here."

From the corner of the room, the man grins toothily to himself, his eyes flashing bright blue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Random PSA: Strangulation in real life can have very serious and life-threatening consequences, so it is important to seek medical attention even if no injuries are readily apparent. Elinor has the benefit of accelerated healing, but a child in real life might not have been so lucky. Just something to keep in mind. 
> 
> Thank you for reading.


	8. Don’t Go Walking In These Spooky Old Woods Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's trouble at the diner for Angus and Rad.

Angus is pulling Rad towards the door when the dull, disharmonic sound of breaking glass followed by a surprised, stilted scream stops him in his tracks. Angus reflexively looks towards the sound and his fears are confirmed. The counter is covered in glass and the stranger from the corner is holding Jerrilyn, the silver-haired, distinguished matriarch of Jerrilyn's Diner, by the neck, a shard of glass pressing into her neck.

Angus and Rad exchange a scared look. Rad inches towards the door, but stops when Jerrilyn yelps as the shard of glass digs deeper into her neck, blood starts trickling down her neck. The stranger coos and starts trailing his jagged fingernails through the red. He uses the back of said hand to stroke Jerrilyn's cheek, smearing blood into her silvery hair. "Oh grandma, what big eyes you have!" 

Jerrilyn narrows her eyes. "Who are you calling grandma?" She throws her head back, slamming it into the man's face. She quickly grabs a knife from the counter and plunges it into the man's side. She effortlessly slides under the counter and makes her way to a small back office. "Run while you can!" She calls over her shoulder. "I'm going to call for backup." Rad and Angus waste no time. They run out of the diner, the plate glass door slamming shut with such a force that the bell starts to jangle wildly. They run towards the car in the parking lot. Rad struggles to remove his keys from his jean pocket and in his panic they fall to the ground. 

"Shit!" Rad bends over to pick his keys up. "Shitshitshitshitshitshit." 

Angus watches through the plate glass window as the werewolf pulls the knife out of his side. He locks eyes with Angus and then slowly licks the blade. "Oh fuck!" He starts pulling on the passenger door, willing for it to unlock.

Rad finally unlocks the car, opens the door, and scrambles into the car. "Get in the car!" Angus opens the car door and jumps into the vehicle. Rad cranks the ignition and throws the car in reverse and stops on the gas peeling out of the parking space. 

Suddenly the driver's side window shatters into pieces as the stranger punches through it, his nails now claws. "I didn't say you could leave yet."

He grabs Rad by his shirt and pulls him through the window throwing him against a parked car.

The werewolf grins menacingly from the broken car window.  
\----------

Stiles looks at the worried faces of his sons and his husband before looking at his dad. "Could somebody tell the human what's happening?" 

Stiles' dad hangs up the phone and looks Stiles in the eyes.

"Parrish's mother called him from her diner. Apparently there's a crazed werewolf in there and he attacked her." 

Stiles nods, worried. "Is she okay?" 

His dad scratches his forehead. "She's bleeding a little...but she's fine. But she said Angus was in the diner with a guy."

"In the same diner as the crazed werewolf?! Is Angus okay? Is Rad okay?"

Stiles' dad shakes his head. "She doesn't know. She knows the boys got out of the diner and she's hearing noises from the parking lot, but she doesn't have a window in her office."

Stiles shakes his head. "That doesn't help me. That _really_ doesn't help me." He looks at Derek. "Get the keys."

Stiles' dad holds out his hands. "Sheriff Parrish instructed us to stay here. He's heading over there with Deaton, Scott and the S Squad right now."

Stiles looks plaintively at Derek. "Get the keys, Derek."

Derek wraps Stiles in a tight hug. "How many years have we been doing this?"

Stiles lets out a shuddering breath. "Too many years." 

"How often do things turn out well when we go marching in without a real plan?"

Stiles wraps his arms around Derek, holding him tightly. "Not very often," he mutters against his neck.

Derek nods into Stiles' shoulder. "It will take about half an hour to get into town." Stiles nods in agreement. "I think that's enough time to come up with a plan."

Stiles smiles, his eyes tight with worry. "To the minivan!"  
\----------------------

Angus edges tentatively around the now stopped car towards Rad. He keeps one eye on Rad, the rise of his chest, and the other on the strange werewolf who is mirroring his movements, circling the car. "Rad," he hisses. "Are you okay?"

Rad groans in response. "I'm pretty sure that defied some of the laws of physics."

Angus shakes his head. "I'm going to take that as a yes."

Rad groans as he rises to his feet. "Who is this hirsute asshole and what in Goeppert-Mayer's name do they want?"

The werewolf tilts his head. "My name is Cledwyn. I am a swift, cleansing fire, burning away the impurities of this earth."

Rad quickly looks towards Angus. "Impurities," he mouths.

Rad turns towards Cledwyn. "Wow, Cled. Can I call you Cled?"

Cledwyn glares at Rad. "No."

Rad tilts his head. "How about Winnie?"

Cledwyn growls. "You will call me Cledwyn, it is a family name." He drags his claws against the car door. "Our line has remained pure for generations."

Rad laughs and then groans, clutching his ribs. "I think the word you're looking for is inbred."

Angus groans. "You're not helping."

Cledwyn laughs cruelly. "Let the dog keep yapping. I think feasting on his tongue will be a tasty treat."

Rad gives Cledwyn a strange look before stiffly turning to Angus. "He's like the redneck Hannibal," he stage whispers.

Cledwyn roars. "I am a werewolf. I am a captain, a Supreme Lochagos, in the Order of Lycaon - Western Chapter. You, dog, are not fit to walk around without a leash."

Cledwyn turns towards Angus. "You violate the Commandments of Lycaon. Wolves shall not lie with dogs. The punishment is death."

Angus waves his hands about. "There's been no lying." 

Rad shakes his head. "You know that makes no sense, right? Wolf-dogs are a thing."

Cledwyn growls and charges towards Rad. Angus intercepts him, changing his trajectory so Cledwyn hits the car instead of his intended target. Angus grabs Rad and pulls him away from the werewolf, who is snarling as he extracts his claws from the shredded metal of the automobile. 

"Shit. That guy moves fast. Is he on PCP or something?" 

Angus stands between Cledwyn and Rad, his back turned to better protect Rad against the threat. "No, he's a werewolf. But he might be on something..." 

Rad snorts. "Yeah and I'm a unicorn." 

Angus quickly turns and looks at Rad, his eyes glowing yellow. "I know he's a werewolf because I'm a werewolf too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter (hopefully). Thanks for reading :)


	9. The Best Way to a Man’s Heart Is Through His Chest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angus and Rad face off against Cledwyn. How will they fare against the likes of a crazed werewolf supremacist?

Rad looks rapidly between Cledwyn and Angus. His eyes widen. "That explains a lot! Let's go with that explanation!" 

Angus rolls his eyes. "How else would you explain it?"

Rad starts counting off on his fingers. "One, Hallucinogens  
Two. I could have hit my head really hard. Three, I could be drunk. Four, I could be in shock. Five, I could be experiencing a psychotic break. I don't know! Maybe you were bitten by a radioactive wolf and now you're like _Wolf Man_ Costumed Vigilante of Forest Justice.”

"You might have hit your head but I was born like this."

"So you don't have a full-body skintight costume." 

Angus gives him a long look. "No."

Rad makes a disappointing sound before pausing suddenly. "Wait. Does that mean your sister is a werewolf too!"

"Yes."

"Wow. I'm going to have to research the IOC rules for that. What does that mean _Fergus _is a werewolf?"__

__Angus rolls his eyes. "Yes."_ _

__"Are you sure? It seems like he's afraid of his own shadow. Though I guess he's got impressive facial hair for a 16 year old though. Wait, does that mean --"_ _

__Angus waves his hands in the air. "This is Beacon Hills! Everybody is something!"_ _

__Rad nods. "Wow. What kinds --"_ _

__Cledwyn clears his throat. "Are you done? I _am_ trying to kill you."_ _

__Rad throws his arms in the air. "Winnie! Did you know about this?"_ _

__Cledwyn gestures to Rad. "This is exactly why our Commandments forbid contaminating our superiority by associating with genetic swill."_ _

__Rad turns to Angus and waves his hands in Cledwyn's direction. "Please tell me that this is not your run-of-the-mill werewolf. He's a particularly crazed example, right?"_ _

__Angus gives Rad a pained look. "I guess you could say it's all relative."_ _

__"I'm the crazy one?” Cledwyn screams, shaking with outrage. He points a bloodstained finger towards Angus. "His family raises goats! What kind of self-respecting werewolf raises livestock! It's the sign of a lazy and weak predator. They don't even eat them though. It's a perversion of the natural order."_ _

__"How do you know my family raises goats?"_ _

__Cledwyn gives Angus a smug look. "I dispatched one of my most ruthless Lochoi, Mervin. Your family is most certainly dead by now for it is The Culling, a Most Holy Time when the weak and diseased are removed from the pack."_ _

__Angus gives Cledwyn a dubious look. "When was this?"_ _

__Rad snorts. "Mervin."_ _

__Cledwyn glowers at Rad. "Mervin is a skilled lochos who has had the honor to participate in The Culling. Your mouth isn't fit to pronounce his name."_ _

__Cledwyn turns to Angus. "Mervin received his Most Holy Mission to kill your family nearly two hours ago." Cledwyn raises a clawed hand. "You shall now die knowing that your pathetic family is now nourishing the worms of this earth. A befitting end indeed."_ _

__Angus crosses his arms. "Except my dads called about 10 minutes ago. They sounded pretty alive to me."_ _

__Cledwyn growls. "Then know that I will not fail."_ _

__"SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT! LET ME SEE YOUR HANDS!"_ _

__Angus and Rad, startled, raise their hands. Cledwyn seizes the opportunity and slams into Angus._ _

__Angus gasps in pain and instinctively bats Cledwyn away. Cledwyn snarls as Angus' claws create deep furrows across his face, damaging his left eye._ _

__Things seem to get quiet as Angus briefly looks down to inspect the damage and is surprised to find his shirt is damp. He tentatively touches a finger to the ever increasing dampness and his finger comes away red. The realization that the substance is blood, his blood, brings the rest of the world into focus. Angus feels unsteady burdened by the sensory onslaught; he stumbles over to Rad's car._ _

__Cledwyn is on the ground. Uncle Scott is holding him by the neck as one of the deputies mutters what must be a spell of binding. Angus can never remember her name, but she always reminds him of a bird...a mean bird. Sheriff Parrish is in the background yelling into his radio, the words seem garbled._ _

__Angus recoils when something bumps into him and is surprised to see Rad. Rad looks worried as he presses his hands against Angus' stomach._ _

__Angus sighs. "Do you think it's a lost cause?"_ _

__Rad looks rattled. "You're going to be fine, Angus. You're going to be just fine. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."_ _

__Angus snorts. "I was talking about my shirt."_ _

__"Oh." Rad timidly inspects Angus' wound. His hands are shaking as they brush against a ragged tear. "Yeah, your shirt might be a loss cause."_ _

__"Damn it. That was my nice shirt."_ _

__Rad chokes back a laugh._ _

__The bell rings as Jerrilyn strides out of diner. "I'm taking the boys to the hospital. Let their parents know."_ _

__Sheriff Parrish pauses in directing the deputies to grab his forehead. "Mom, this is an active crime scene. Get back inside."_ _

__"It's a crime scene in there too, by the way. I'm not going to sit around twiddling my thumbs. I'm taking the boys to the hospital."_ _

__Parrish groans. "Mom."_ _

__Jerrilyn keeps walking "Son."_ _

__"You like being purposefully difficult, don't you?"_ _

__Jerrilyn nods. "You think you would be used to it by now." Parrish shakes his head and walks over to Deaton._ _

__Jerrilyn kneels down and proceeds to methodically and precisely tear Angus' shirt and quickly dresses his wound. "Help me get him in the car, dear."_ _

__Rad bends over and winces. Jerrilyn casts an appraising eye in Rad's direction. "Let's not overdo, yeah? Jerrilyn looks around. "Mr. McCall, your assistance is required."_ _

__Scott pauses in talking to Deaton and jogs over. Jerrilyn looks down at Angus. "You're probably not going to die. Congratulations. This part is not going to be fun."_ _

__Scott quizzically cocks his head as he looks at Angus' bandages slowly turning red. "Should he be bleeding so much?"_ _

__Jerrilyn shakes her head. "No. Help me get him in the car first. Then get Deaton to inspect that werewolf's nails. I'm suspect it's a combination of wolfsbane and anticoagulant like sweet-clover. I'll have the hospital do the usual wolfsbane protocol, but it never hurts to double check."_ _

__Scott bends over and pats Angus on the shoulder. "How are you feeling?" Scott asks as he maneuvers Angus into a car._ _

__Angus clenches his jaw." I've seem to sprung a leak, but other than that I'm doing great."_ _

__Angus ends up in the mostly glass-free backseat with Rad as Jerrilyn drives with her usual lead foot. Angus uses her reckless driving as an excuse to clutch Rad's hand._ _

__"I'm sorry I'm bleeding in your car," Angus mutters, his head resting on Rad's shoulder._ _

__Rad pats Angus' hand consolingly. "Well I'm sorry a crazed werewolf interrupted our date. We're going to beat every other couple's story ever. 'I knew it was love when I got thrown against a car and Angus over here told me he was a werewolf'."_ _

__Angus and Rad begin to laugh and then groan simultaneously, "Don't make me laugh."_ _

__Jerrilyn looks at the rearview mirror. "Keep pressure on that wound."_ _

__\-------------_ _

__Sheriff Parrish watches the antics of one bandaged Cledwyn Tucker in the back of his patrol vehicle._ _

__"My spell of binding is holding. He's just an idiot."_ _

__"I wasn't doubting your skills, Deputy Fallon."_ _

__She nods. "I like watching them squirm too."_ _

__Sheriff Parrish shoots a glance at his deputy before pursing his lips. "Too much information, Riley."_ _

__Riley Fallon rolls her eyes. "Deaton confirmed Jerrilyn's suspicions. The wolfsbane, a particularly weak strain, has also been identified. I've passed the information on to the hospital."_ _

__Parrish nods. "That's good. Cledwyn over here told me his buddy, Mervin, would rescue him."_ _

__Deputy Fallon tilts her head. "That would correspond with the eye witness report Jones got concerning the RV park crime scene."_ _

__"My thoughts exactly. Looks like the excitement isn't over yet. Deaton said this 'Order of Lycaon' is a very small group of werewolf supremacists based out of Utah."_ _

__Deaton walks over. "Very small being the operative word, maybe two or three families...or one big family depending on how you think about it. Mervin is probably Cledwyn's brother or cousin. It's unlikely that there would be others participating in this so-called The Culling."_ _

__Sheriff Parrish nods. "Let's get the word out -" He trails off as a minivan speeds into the parking lot, slamming on the brakes. The minivan side door slides open and a contingent of the extended family piles out of the car. Sheriff Parrish groans as he watches Hamish swing a lacrosse stick in the air. Derek and Stiles frantically look around at the destruction in the parking lot. The former sheriff and a woman with a shock of brown hair calmly observe the action on the scene._ _

__"Get the BOLO out, Deputy Fallon. I'll be right back."_ _

__

__Parrish walks towards the agitated group. "Damn it. I told you to stay in your house. This is an active investigation. " Parrish looks towards Stiles' dad. "Can you back me up here?"_ _

__Stiles' dad shakes his hands. "Hey this is not my problem anymore."_ _

__Derek growls. "Why am I smelling my son's blood?"_ _

__A brunette forces her way through the Hale pack. "Where's my car?"_ _

__"We've apprehended the suspect. My mother took the injured parties to the hospital, in what I assume is your car, ma'am."_ _

__Hamish continues to wave a lacrosse stick about. Stiles waves his hands about frantically. "Injured parties!"_ _

__Derek puts a hand out, grabbing the lacrosse stick. "Stop Hamish."_ _

__"Angus had an altercation with the suspect. He sustained a serious, but not believed to be life-threatening wound to the abdomen. Rad, I believe, was also involved in an altercation with the subject but only sustained non-life threatening injuries. "_ _

__Scott runs over. "I saw Angus though. He was bleeding heavily but he's going to be okay. Jerrilyn got his wound treated and made sure he got to the hospital quickly."_ _

__Derek and Stiles give each other a long look. "Well I guess we should head to the hospital now."_ _

__Hamish sighs and lets the lacrosse stick rest on his shoulder. "I was looking forward to some action."_ _

__Derek guides Hamish towards the minivan. "Into the van, Action Man."_ _

__Parrish directs the rest of the group to their vehicle. "Head to the hospital and try to stay put this time. We believe that the apprehended suspect had a partner in crime."_ _

__Derek pauses as he proceeds to the passenger side door to give Stiles a look. "About that..."_ _

__\-------------------------  
The next morning _ _

__Angus stirs as he hears Naomi's voice in the hallway. When he opens his eyes, he's surprised that he's in his old room and not in Seattle. As the grogginess fades, he remembers that he came down with Hypatia to celebrate the Redding Rider Grrls' win. He remembers the night before - his date with Rad, Cledwyn's attack, his trip to the hospital, the relieved looks on his fathers' faces when they saw with his own eyes that he was going to be all right._ _

__Angus listens closely to Naomi's voice as she talks to his dads._ _

__"Again, we're sorry that you had to drive all the way down here."_ _

__"Don't worry about it, I had to get my daughter back somehow. Hypatia texted me that Angus' car broke down. But with all the drama that happened last night, it's probably for the best."_ _

__"The Jeep!"_ _

__Angus hears his father sigh. "I'll try calling Frank."_ _

__"The fact that you think Frank is going to answer at 6:00 in the morning on a Sunday is cute, Derek."_ _

__Naomi laughs. "See it worked out for the best."_ _

__"We'll obviously pay you for your time."_ _

__"You guys don't have to. Though I would mind a chance to see these so-called goats."_ _

__"I see that gleam in your eye, Naomi. What's your hunch?"_ _

__"It sounds silly. But I think they're chimeras."_ _

__"Huh. I guess you know you're a Classics scholar when you hear fire-breathing goats and you think chimera."_ _

__"Like that's the most ridiculous thing that you've ever heard in your life, Stiles. Especially when you consider that the chimera was said to reside in Lycia. Who is afraid of a fire-breathing goat? But throw some extra heads on it..."_ _

__Their voices trail off as they exit the house. Angus closes his eyes and turns toward the warm spot, curling around a shirtless Rad. Angus' eyes pop open and he scrambles towards the edge of his bed, nearly falling off in the process. Rad cracks an eye open. "What's going on?"_ _

__"Why are you not wearing a shirt!" Angus hisses._ _

__"Because I took it off?" Rad mutters sleepily, pulling at the covers. "I'm not wearing pants too in case you were wondering."_ _

__The thud of Angus hitting the floor is complemented by the slam of a door. Angus winces as he realizes that Merida overhead this exchange. And he remembers Hamish's oh-so-comforting words from the night before - "Oh good, you're not dead. You know Merida wants to kill you?" Angus lies on the floor mentally preparing for his imminent doom._ _

__Rad calls out from his place on the bed. "You're being a little too quiet now. My ribs hurt too much for me to check if you're okay."_ _

__"I'm okay. I don't imagine this will be the case after I talk to Merida though."_ _

__"Good to know. If the thought of me naked in your bed repulses you, you should know that I am wearing underwear. I'm not a complete heathen."_ _

__Angus gets to his feet. "Well I'm not completely repulsed."_ _

__Rad snorts. "Wow. Way to make a guy feel special. Now you've got to make it up to me."_ _

__Angus walks to the dresser and rattles a prescription bottle. "Will painkillers do?"_ _

__Rad smiles sleepily from the bed. "Yay. Drugs." He gingerly fumbles for his glasses on the bedside table._ _

__Angus retrieves a glass of water from the upstairs bathroom and shakes two pills out of the bottle, placing them in Rad's outstretched hand. Rad quickly pops them in his mouth and takes the proffered water. Rad grabs hold of Angus' hand before he can retract it. He holds it, swinging their clasped hands gently back and forth, for the duration of the time it takes him to drink his water._ _

__Angus smiles. "You're a goofball. But you need to let me go so  
I can talk to my sister."_ _

__Rad smiles in return before sobering. "I didn't know your sister liked me like that. I wouldn't have asked you out on a date if I knew."_ _

__"I know." Angus ruffles Rad's hair. "Because you're such a nice guy!"_ _

__Rad grins playfully, his glasses askew. "But who can blame her. I'm also a doctor, great cook, visually appealing..."_ _

__Angus puts his face in his hands. "You're not helping." He feels Rad tug on his pajama shirt._ _

__"Don't hide your face. I need to commit it to memory before your imminent disfigurement."_ _

__Angus removes his hands from his face. A look of anguish mars his features._ _

__Rad grabs his hand. "It'll be okay. Honestly. She’s a good kid."_ _

__Angus nods. “I know she is. That’s what makes it worse.”_ _

__\-----_ _

__Angus fiddles with his shirtsleeves at the top of the stairs. He takes a deep breath and walks down the stairs. The living room is sprinkled with sleeping leftover partygoers. Angus spots Merida sitting at the kitchen table stabbing her bowl of cereal with a spoon. Angus takes a seat at the kitchen table._ _

__"Hey Merida."_ _

__Merida gives him a long look before taking a bite of cereal._ _

__"Oh so you're not talking to me now? That's understandable."_ _

__Merida takes another bite of cereal. The loud crunch travels across the room._ _

__"Hamish filled me in by the way. For the record, I didn't know you liked Rad. I wouldn't have gone out with him if I knew you liked him. I try to be a good big brother like that."_ _

__Merida daintily puts her spoon down and crosses her arms. "You should try harder next time."_ _

__"I'm not a mind reader, Merida. I can't just magically sense the people you like. It's not like you peed on him."_ _

__Merida rolls her eyes. "Ugh. Drop dead, Angus." Merida stills before sighing. "I think you're a real stupid dick right now but you're not allowed to die on me basically ever."_ _

__"I'll try."_ _

__The conversation dies. Angus and Merida sit awkwardly at the table. Merida fiddles with her spoon. Angus fiddles with the buttons on his cuff._ _

__"Do you really like him?" Merida's gaze is intense._ _

__Angus looks away, his face coloring. "Yeah, I mean what's not to like. Cute, funny, nerdy, tattoos."_ _

__Merida looks past Angus' shoulder. "Well...if you really like him, I guess it's okay if you continue to see him," she says begrudgingly._ _

__Angus nods. "How magnanimous of you."_ _

__Merida forcibly places her spoon on the table. "Hey, I'm trying to be charitable here, ass. The way I figure it, you might be single forever otherwise. I don't know if there's a huge market for teenage nerds who act like they are 80 years old and have the grooming habits of a rabid squirrel."_ _

__"Squirrels rarely get rabies."_ _

__Merida gestures towards Angus. "Exactly. But just so you know you're not getting Christmas or birthday presents for the foreseeable future."_ _

__Angus gets up from his chair and wraps Merida in a tight hug and squeezes. "Well don't I have the best sister ever? So generous, kind-hearted, talented, beautiful -"_ _

__Merida starts slapping at Angus' arm. "Get off me, you weirdo."_ _

__"I'm hugging it out, " Angus protests._ _

__"Let me go or I'll bite you," Merida growls._ _

__Angus looks seriously into Merida's eyes. "I'm trying to tell you that you're an awesome person and I'm so lucky that you're my sister."_ _

__Merida's eyes start to tear up as she returns the hug. "You better believe you're lucky."_ _

__"Do you hate me?" Angus whispers into Merida's hair._ _

__Merida sighs. "Yes."_ _

__Angus silently contemplates her response. Merida pulls out of the embrace and looks Angus squarely in the eye. "But I'll always love you."_ _

__Angus pretends to wipe his brow "Phew. That's a relief."_ _

__Merida elbows him in the arm. "Jerk."_ _

__"I love ya too, sis."_ _

__Merida rolls her eyes. "You coming down for Thanksgiving."_ _

__Angus nods. "Most definitely. Here's hoping there will be less drama."_ _

__Merida gives Angus a weird look. "In this family?"_ _

__Angus and Merida look at the living room full of sleeping partygoers. Angus sighs. "You have a point."_ _

__\-------------------_ _

__Angus puts his duffle bag in the trunk of Naomi’s car. He mills about the front yard, waiting. He sees Naomi walk up from the goat pens with his parents._ _

__“We need to get a move on Angus! Where’s Hypatia?”_ _

__Angus opens his mouth to answer._ _

__“Wait. That was a stupid question. She’s still sleeping. I’ll go get her.”_ _

__Stiles nods. “Yeah, I don’t know if you’ll want to be lifting anything heavy right now. How is your stomach holding up?”_ _

__“It’s looking pretty good, I guess, but it’s a little tender still.”_ _

__Stiles shakes his head. “Somebody punches a hole in your abdomen, there’s bound to be a little tenderness.”_ _

__Derek and Stiles give Angus a hug. Stiles smooths down his hair. “We’ll see you at Thanksgiving?”_ _

__Angus nods, brushing his dad’s hand away from his hair. “I’ll take the bus or something.”_ _

__Derek looks at Naomi. “Your family would be more than welcome to join us for Thanksgiving. “_ _

__Naomi laughs. “You just want me to drive back here.”_ _

__Derek nods. “Yes.”_ _

__Stiles lightly smacks Derek’s chest. “Angus can take the bus.”_ _

__Naomi shakes her head as she walks into the house. “You’re underestimating Hypatia’s skills of persuasion. You’re never getting rid of us.”_ _

__Hamish walks out of the house and starts pulling Stiles and Derek towards the chicken coop. “This is not a drill. There are a lot of hungry people in that house. We need eggs. Lots of eggs.”_ _

__Stiles shakes his head. “I think you can manage to carry some eggs.”_ _

__“I’m making soufflés. I need lots of eggs.”_ _

__Derek shakes his head. “Why are you making soufflé? Just make scrambled eggs.”_ _

__“After last night? Scrambled eggs would be a let down. These people have expectations.”_ _

__Derek continues to argue with Hamish as they walk to the chicken coop. Stiles turns around and waves at Angus. “Don’t leave until we have a chance to say goodbye!”_ _

__“I’ll try.” Angus pulls out his cell phone and starts to idly check his news feed and frowns when it doesn’t refresh. “And of course it’s not working properly,” he sighs._ _

__Naomi walks out of the house carrying a drowsy Hypatia._ _

__“Can Fergus come with us?” Hypatia mutters against her mother’s shoulder._ _

__“Nope that’s called kidnapping.”_ _

__“Not fair,” Hypatia sighs._ _

__A shirtless Fergus stumbles after Naomi like a lost puppy. His chest and arms are covered in permanent marker. “Hypatia! I’ll write you every day.”_ _

__A bemused Rad follows him. Angus walks over to him and gently nudges his shoulder. “Hey.”_ _

__Rad shakes his head. “I’m trying to think of a way to say ‘I’ll write you every day’ in a way that sounds cooler and less desperate.”_ _

__Angus laughs. “Or you can just say it like that.”_ _

__“Well communication is very important.”_ _

__Angus smiles and walks to the car, removing a permanent marker from Hypatia’s bag. He waves the marker at Rad. Rad holds out his palms. Angus starts to painstakingly scrawl his information on his skin._ _

__“Ta-da.”_ _

__Rad starts to inspect his palms. “You have very neat handwriting. I’m actually pretty amazed that you managed to fit your entire life story in such a small space.”_ _

__Angus points to the first line. “ Ha ha, very funny. This is my number. Is my phone reliable? Apparently not.” Angus gestures to the rest of his palm. “Hence the address. ”_ _

__Rad finishes inspecting his palms. “Now if I were to send you a care package of let’s say...cookies. These cookies would definitely arrive at a place where you live. Like this isn’t the address to your favorite take-out restaurant or something.”_ _

__Angus nods. “That is most definitely a place where I live. So feel free to try to text me, and hopefully my phone works. But by all means, please send me cookies.”_ _

__Rad nods thoughtfully. He reaches out to give Angus a hug. “You haven’t seen the last of me yet.”_ _

__Angus gently returns the hug, mindful of Rad’s bruised ribs. “I know.”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finished! It took way too long, but it's finally done. 
> 
> This is the last major work I had planned for the series, Egg In Your Milky Way. Once There Was Hushpuppy - Outtakes potentially may be updated, especially if anybody has prompts. :)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


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